Bitcoin has finally smashed $100,000; now it really is send season. This bull run is a once-in-a-lifetime memecoin supercycle, and it’s your chance to turbo-crank the risk and chase unprecedented gains.
But instead of sifting through hundreds of meme pretenders, what if you could rely on a coin to do all the hard work for you—like a stock index, only with performance that isn’t going to have you less animated than Terri Schiavo? That’s what you get with Vantard and its proprietary Memecoin Portfolio: a basket of the hottest property in the entire sector bought before they pump.
In the battle to find the next meme moonshot, Vantard’s team of quants is a day early and a dollar in credit. The Vantard Meme Portfolio (VMP) already loaded up on ZEREBRO, MOODENG, and AI16Z nice and early, locking in some serious gains for early VTARD investors.
But with The Don on his victory lap and global liquidity flooding the crypto market like Noah’s on a comeback tour, what meme monstrosity in the skyrocketing $140 billion market will the VMP unearth next?
Vantard: Only an actual ‘tard wouldn’t want in
Since launching its presale around a month ago, Vantard has already raised $931k, and for good reason: it’s been making TradFi look more lifeless than Simon Cowell’s botoxed bonce. Vantard has defecated all over the NASDAQ, dominating its year-to-date returns like a young, skilled cowboy atop a weary, senile bull. The VMP is getting called the S&P 500 of memecoins for a reason.
Vantard offers degens the creature comforts of TradFi with its diversification and the reassurance of an actively managed and frequently rebalanced basket. Still, this team of quants isn’t interested in delivering a paltry 7%—they’ve got their eyes on a parabolic prize, and so far, they’ve given no reason to doubt them. Meme coin madness, but all on autopilot? Now that’s how a Giga Chad rides the supercycle.
Further delving into its meme origins, Vantard’s quants recently launched a “Boomberg Nooz” segment, which offers some insight into their radical and somewhat unhinged methodology.
So, rather than chowing down on the wily nonsense some Bloomberg anchor hack wants you to choke back, why not let Vantard red pill the living daylights out of you? No botox, no corporate bullsh*t. No wonder the smart money’s all over VTARD like a resurrected Hugh Hefner in Margot Robbie’s hot tub.
Get gains: Not therapy
The VMP could be your secret weapon to obliterate this bull run and finally take the edge off your son’s opulent OnlyFans addiction. We’re talking blue-chip memes, burgeoning runners, and even nano-cap nebulas, each exploding at different times thanks to various catalysts. And each ensures the VMP is consistently delivering the goods—not like your ex-wife with that furry glove.
This is memecoin mayhem with none of the legwork—no 3 AM candlestick struggle sessions while your wife loads up Bumble alongside your cold and vacant side of the bed. And no getting screwed by the slippage as you thrash at your mobile, desperately trying to panic sell the latest abominable sh*tcoin to save your daughter’s college fund.
The Vantard quants are the ones sobbing in family counseling—they can take the trauma that comes with making this supercycle their b*tch, and their children’s daddy issues are only surpassed by their relentless analytical mastery and their Lannister-esque strategizing. Let them suffer in silence while you 100X and plan an exit—take the kids to Disneyworld, not a Diazepam dispensary.
Ready to ride, cowboy?
Right now, you can get in on VTARD early at a discounted price of $0.00011 before the six-fingered degenerates get their grubby mitts all over it. But don’t hang around—like an alcoholic at their godchild’s funeral, VTARD’s presale supply is going down faster than the sacramental wine. And soon, these tokens will disappear faster than Diddy on day release.
This is your one-stop shop for the memecoin supercycle—your golden ticket to the VIP suite of meme portfolio management. So take a step back, throw your hat into the ring, and let the quants turn decades of loving marriage into a divorce-driven 1000x.
Want to ride the Memecoin Supercycle in style? Join the Vantard presale today.
